the virtue of selfish charity

Mark my words.  One day.  I will be.  Extremely rich.  This concept amuses and bores me in equal doses.  It amuses me because of the foolish heathens gunning for my failure.  Proving them wrong will be a delicious treat indeed.  It bores me for a far more important reason;  I’m happy.  Right now.  Happier than I’ve ever been.  While living in relative poverty.  One of the greatest epiphanies of my entire life has evolved over the last two barely-making-ends-meet years:

Happiness and wealth can be mutually exclusive.

The benefits to my mindset, outlook, and emotional health of this realization cannot be overstated.  Still, the money is coming.  I need to prepare for it.  I have no less than three paths to richness.  They are running in parallel.  They are on track.  They are unstoppable.

Over the next few years, my financial situation will change dramatically.  The money will come.  Then what?

Well, somethings, certainly.

I have a tiny to-do list on my post-wealth radar screen. I will own a Leica camera.  I will have a personal assistant (heaven help her).  I will smoke a Cuban cigar.  Or three.  Or thirty three.  I’ll take a trip around the world, on my oft-discussed “Cirquit Tour”.  I’ll spend several weeks following Radiohead.  Morrissey.  Daft Punk.  Okay, with Daft make that “several months”.

I’ll finally get to activate “Project Spite”, which involves ridiculous amounts of money spent just to prove a point.  To piss some people off.  Devastating, tactical strikes launched against specific targets.  Bling-istic missiles aimed right at the egos of a few unfortunate souls who’ll never see it coming.  But should have.

It’s good to be Cash.  Oh yes indeed.

Still, there will be money left over.  Lots and lots of it.  Thankfully, I have a few other ideas.  For instance?  Charitable contributions.  Someone call a doctor!  My dear readers have passed out.  Let me explain.

Although my feelings on “giving for the sake of giving” have been well documented (see here), giving for the sake of Cash hasn’t.

There are ways of doing good whilst also doing good for one’s self.  The best kind of giving.

I call it “The Virtue of Selfish Charity.”  How’s it work?  Let’s take a look.  So far, there are three causes I plan to get behind with a fierceness when I have the means to do so:

ENDING HOMELESSNESS

Truth be told, I’ve done some good in this regard before.  I used to donate regularly to the Denver Rescue Mission.  DRM is a local organization that provides food, shelter, and support for those living on the street.  Of all the things I’ve easily endured given my uh ‘interesting financial situation’, being homeless is hard to imagine.  Not having somewhere to relax, write, fuck and most importantly, be alone when I choose to is a horrifying thought indeed.  So I’ll do my part to help.

What’s in it for Cash?

Less people on the street means less people hitting me up for change, smokes, and gawd knows what else.  win = win.

ADULT LITERACY PROGRAMS

Being literate is one of the greatest gifts in all of Cash Life.  In all of anyone’s life.  A helluva lot of people arn’t so lucky, even here in the U.S. of A.  Especially here.  You’d be surprised.  I know I was.  In elementary school, I had one but one true rival.  An archenemy of sorts.  In break dancing.  Oh yes.  Unexpected Cash Fact #331?  I was a world-class breaker back in the day.  With enough boozy encouragement from my friends, I still am.  Anyway, my competition for break dance dominance came in the form of a scrappy 5th grader (I was in 4th) we’ll call Rico.  Oh, he brought the heat.  Pop-lockin and head spinning with a sort of mechanical grace that had to be seen to be believed.  Our ‘break-offs’ were the stuff of legend.  I hated him.  I learned from him.  I looked up to him.  Until, half way through his 6th grade year, a stunning revelation that broke the rivalary once and for all.  He couldn’t read.  How he made it through 6 years of school without it coming out is baffling to say the least.  He was shipped off to a ’special education’ program elsewhere.  Never to be heard from, or faced on the cardboard box battleground again.

It was sad.  Enlightening.  Awesome.  I was the #1 breaker from then on.  Hellz yeah.

I’m a wiser man now.  When I have the means, I’ll do my part to keep future Rico’s dancing.  Reading.  Learning.

What’s in it for Cash?

If someone can’t read, they can’t read… my work.

A sobering thought indeed.

NON-PROFIT AND AT-RISK ARTS PROGRAMS

There’s a lot of truth in some cliches.  For instance? “Tortured artists make the best art”.  Throughout my life, I’ve known a lot of artists.  The best of these, to varying degrees, were all a bit “off”.  The cutters and the outcasts.  The used and the abused.  Damaged goods with brilliant minds.  Their work seemed to have a soul you’d never find in Susie Mc Perfect Valedictorian’s.  Something electric.  Something alive.  These tortued souls may have had problems, but growing up in white middle class suburbia, finding money for art supplies was never one of them.  Others arn’t so lucky.  I’d like to change that.

What’s in it for Cash?

Amazing art.  From unexpected, heretofore un-financed artists.  Worth seeing.  Experiencing.  Collecting.

Let the Cash giving (and receiving)… begin.