ego porn fiend

A long time ago, in a TGOC post far, far away, I introduced the term “ego porn” (see here).  I’m not gonna lie to you;  I’m an ego porn fiend.  Thankfully so.  If you’re trying to figure out your life’s calling?  You should be too.

The ego porn you’re obsessed with defines the life’s calling you were blessed with.

What the hell am I talking about?  Glad ya asked.

The most cliched question of all time on this subject deserves some thought, but is only half of the equation:

“What do you enjoy doing so much, you’d actually pay to do it?”

For me, the answer is obvious;  writing.  It doesn’t cost me a cent to sit down at my laptop and get to work.  It does however, cost me several thousand cents to sit down at my laptop and get to work in the most mind blowing way possible; on Adderall.  I do pay (an insane premium), for the privilege of writing under the influence of the greatest drug on earth.  It’s the best money I spend.  On anything.  Period. Read more

stairway to heaven

Digital Photo
12th and Broadway, Denver
5.10.2010

“Wait a second, Cash.  That stairway doesn’t seem to go anywhere.”

(Exactly.)

ultimate power play - he said, she said

Sometimes, the most important lessons in life catch you by surprise.  You feel dumb for not realizing them.  Understanding them.  Taking advantage of them.  Sooner.  Such was certainly the case recently, when my v.p. pulled an unspeakably powerful rabbit out of his hat.

It’s a method.  For changing people’s minds.  About each other.  Incompatible people.  Mortal enemies people.  Your people.  My people.  People whom, for whatever reason, you’d like to see getting along.  But don’t.

It’s subtle.  Sub-conscious.  Sublime.  It’s also one of the easiest to use, nearly impossible to resist techniques ever.  It’s good.  Oh so very very good.  It’s not a power play.  It’s an ultimate power play.

I recognized it during the dumbstruck hours following a meeting with my company’s second in command.  I should have been angry.  Dissatisfied.  Homicidal.  Instead?  I found myself inspired.  Optimistic.  At peace.

What the fuck. Read more

cash staple: easy mac

If there’s one thing I am?  It’s lazy.  If there’s one thing I ain’t?  It’s a good cook.  Boiling water, for me, is as likely to result in a three alarm fire as it is to end in a delicious meal.  Or “digestible meal” for that matter.  Thankfully, a recent trek to Costco with my lovely girlfriend heralded the discovery of Easy Mac.  A cheesylicious meal fit for a Cash that costs 81 cents per serving (at Costco) and takes 3 minutes to make.  In the microwave.  Now that’s what I’m talkin’ bout.

Kraft’s Easy Mac is a two packet delight that even I haven’t found a way to screw up.  Yet.

1)  Empty dry noodles into a bowl.

2)  Add water

3)  Microwave for 3 minutes

4)  Stir in cheese powder

5)  Sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Hear something?  Of course you do.  It’s the sweet, sweet sound of arteries hardening.  Yours.

Bon apetite.

Easy Mac.  Cash Approved.

this post is part of a series - read more here

disengaged (and lovin it)

Engagements are a dangerous game.  They create a lot of hope, and can deliver a lot of pain.  If you’re too invested in them.  If you’re too invested in anything.  I’m not talking about marriage here (although it certainly applies there too).  I’m talking about engagements.  Plans.  Activities.  Things you’re looking forward to.  Counting on.  Ever-so-very excited about.  These things, and the people you plan to share them with?  Have the power to kill you.  Your day.  Your week.  Your year.  If you let them.  Your only hope?  Disengagement.  One of the most important concepts on the path to peace.

What the hell am I talking about?

Glad ya asked.

I’m a strange bird.  If you’ve spent anytime at all on TGOC, you probably read that loud and clear.  If you spend anytime at all with me in person?  It’s even worse.  One thing that’s always made me different in a good way?  When it comes to plans, I’ll believe em when I see em.  Taste em.  Touch em.  Not one second before.  Until I’m dilated-pupils-deep in a fungasm fueled evening?  It’s not happening.  It might.  It might not.  Either way?  I don’t care.  I recognize the potential pleasure ahead, but understand the potential pain, ahoy, if things don’t go according to plan.  Which as you may have noticed?  Happens all the freaking time.

One of the best gifts I’ve ever received came to me in eighth grade. Read more

reconciling the american dream

One of my favorite movie quotes is also one of the darkest.  It’s from Watchmen.  It comes during a scene where two of the super heroes are stuck in the middle of a riot.  People are smashing windows.  There are cars burning.  Molotov cocktails flying.  It’s anarchy.

Dan Dreiberg: What happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?

Edward Blake: “What happened to the American Dream?” It came true! You’re lookin’ at it.

It always gives me a snarky grin.  I’ve never understood, nor agreed with, the concept of “The American Dream.”  By whose standards?  By what definition?  Growing up, like most people I’d reckon, I was taught the the American Dream included marriage, 2.5 kids, a house with a white picket fence in the quiet, safe suburbs, and a “respectable career”.  Whatever that hell that is.  Gag.  It didn’t appeal to me then, it doesn’t appeal to me now.

For one thing, so many people, who by that criteria should be living the American dream, have lives that seem anything but.  Bitterness, stress, and a lack of personal fulfillment, ahoy.  A constant quest to keep up with and exceed “the joneses” (see here) on all superficial, materialistic counts.  Hell no.

For another thing, even people who meet the criteria (kids, home, job) and actually do have satisfying lives are achieving that satisfaction from sources I could never comprehend.

Until now.

Sort of. Read more

complementary competence : part 2

I’ve discovered something about human nature.  I should warn you;  it’s sick.  Surprise, surprise.  Nonetheless, it’s true.  It’s also incredibly powerful.  It has to do with compliments.  I’ve touched on them before (see here) but this is different.  More important.  More profound.  It has to do with giving compliments.  More to the point, giving the only kind of compliment that matters. Read more

watch for the signs - you have amazing friends

Being a great friend is easy when times are good.  Being a great friend is anything but when times are catastrophic, or nearly so.  Such was certainly the case recently, when a horrifying turn of events almost left me stranded hundreds of miles from home with no money and the prospect of things getting even worse.  Much, much worse.

All hail Tracy then. Read more

i heart “pink heart camp”

I’ve always viewed Burning Man with a mixture of fascination and terror.  It’s intriguing.  A flash bomb city of art, hope, and expression exploding into view on the desert floor.  A temporary nexus of pure, unbridled freedom.  An oasis of optimism and innovation.

A lot of naked dudes.

With dongs-a-danglin.

It’s also hell on earth, elementally speaking.  Triple digit temperatures.  Vicious sandstorms.  Freezing nights.

Here’s the thing.  I’m a bitch.  More or less.  As appealing as so many aspects of BRC are to me, I don’t know how I’d survive.

Unless? Read more

cash @ coachella: tips, tricks, and helpful glow sticks

The best idea my marvelous girlfriend’s ever had?  Coachella, 2010.  I was hesitant at first.  The expense alone (3 day tickets were $325 with fees) was daunting to say the least.  Thankfully, she refused to give up.  She was persistent.  Annoying.  Unstoppable.  Atta girl.  I have plenty of things to thank her for over the year we’ve been together.  Few can come close to the musical mind fuck of delight that was our adventure in Indio.

There were a lot of firsts involved.  It was our first festival together.  Our first out of state trip together.  Our first Coachella(s) period.  We did our best to prepare.  Coachella forums?  Read.  Online research?  Complete.  We also asked for advice from friends who’d been.  Their suggestions were helpful, but hardly complete.

The trip was educational to say the least.  We learned some lessons the hard way.

Hoping to help future (fellow) Coachella attendees, I give you;

CASH’S 13 TIPS FOR A KICK ASS COACHELLA

1)  DRIVING - DON’T DO IT

If you have more than 750 miles to travel?  Fly.  Reviewing options for our next Coachella adventure, I figured out a flight from Denver to Ontario (about 1.5 hours from Indio) would have been $200 round trip.  Renting a car there and driving to the campsite would have saved us a lot of time (28 hours!!) and even more sanity.  If you insist on a road trip; Read more