glenn and the chimp

This whole “berserk chimp on a xanax fueled face mauling” thing is bar none the craziest thing to hit the news in ages.

If you’ve been hiding out in some PETA sponsored cave of animal-story-blackout related dullness, the first thing you need to do is read The New York Post’s (freaking beyond words) wrap up of the situation here.

Long, gory story short; woman lives with 200lb chimp.  By ‘lives’ I basically mean ‘dates’.  They bathed together.  Shared glasses of wine Read more

gregtastic: why we drink

A recent IM exchange with my former UM partner in crime Greg started with a discussion of the prior night’s hijinks.  We’d begun the night @ Corner Office for some HH PBR’s and edamame, followed by a trip to the cigar store for some cheap cigarellos (not bad for 85 cents, yo!).  Then we Read more

me and my army

Having good friends?  It’s a start.  Having truly outstanding friends, now that’s something sacred.

One blessing that makes me forever grateful is how supportive my friends are, especially when it comes to my over-the-top, impossible to conceive of plans.

I come up with these all the time.

My dreams are huge.  My budget? Read more

minka kelly - whaaaaa?

I’ve apparently got awful taste in movies.  If I hadn’t been wasting my life away watching Requiem for a Dream, Planet Terror, Sin City and Fight Club all the time, I might have seen some of the classics.

Classics like “2 Fast 2 Furious”, “Devil’s Highway”, “The Pumpkin Karver”, or anything else featuring the delicious Minka Kelly.

How have I missed this girl thus far?

Gawd lawd.  To the torrents I go!

the sage wisdom of donnie

Donnie’s the most unassuming guru out there.  One minute (most minutes) he’s making small penis jokes, laughing at his propensity for Chipotle + Del Taco combo platters (he’s trying to get in shape), or singing the praises of the Beastie Boys.

The next? Read more

the hunter becomes the hunted

Picture the scene.  Saturday afternoon; 16th street mall.  I’m enjoying a smoke when a relatively well dressed man approaches.  I brace for the panhandling worst:

guy:  hey man, quick question for you. Read more

accidental humor: suspiria seeing eye dog attack

Suspiria is considered one of the scariest movies of all time, and there’s plenty to like about it.  The incredible, color drenched cinematography, ever increasing sense of dread, and Read more

the reality of superiority

Long before The Nine Commandments of Cash, before I’d even started to consider my personal philosophy, I had one thesis.

The reality of superiority.

It’s the understanding that no matter how rich you are, how beautiful, how talented; there is always someone, somewhere, who exceeds you on all counts.

Understanding this concept brings me a lot of peace.

What it means to me is two things.  First, it means that when I strive to improve myself in some way, it’s strictly to exceed my own accomplishments thus far.  I no longer consider what anyone else has done when reviewing my own achievements.

Next, it almost eliminates the concept of ‘envy’ (a dangerous, cancerous enemy of the soul) from my life.  I no longer feel the need to belittle the accomplishments of others in an attempt to make me feel better about my own.  Totally unnecessary.

I will continue to improve, however slowly, upon what I’ve done thus far.  I’ll find satisfaction in these improvements, and work to keep them coming.

This concept is at its most powerful when Read more

icarus complex

Lately, I’ve found myself ruminating on the story of Icarus.  For some reason, I relate to it.

“Overcome by the giddiness that flying lent him, Icarus soared through the sky curiously”

A dear friend and knower recently said “Is that wax I smell burning?”

We’ll see.

overheard conversations in which i may or may not have been involved

guy #1: “Check cashing places and liquor stores are the things I would invest in right now, considering the economy.”

guy #2: “Makes sense.”

guy #1: “And if I could, I would invest in drug dealers.”

guy #2: “Oh…you are”

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