“sooo much sun”

I recently found myself, once again, with the guy I will going forward call ‘the homeless sage’.  It was the same guy who made and excellent point about taking things Read more

healthy cash, unhealthy livin

Over the last week, two of my best friends got sick.  Really, really sick.  Immobilized in bed, not even able to enjoy porn sick.  There’s something going around.  It’s pretty bad.  So far, I’ve avoided it.  Much to the amazement of the afflicted.

A text from a miserable, Read more

r.i.p. acquaintances

Shocking revelation: even Cash has room for improvement. Mind you, it’s a little room.  A bungalow perhaps.

One thing I’ve been working on lately: wasting less of my time.  There are few things on earth more valuable.  After all, there’s always a finite Read more

cheap cigarette round up

When I first started smoking, I stuck to the popular brands.  I found some definite favorites (see my piece here).  Ever on the lookout for a bargain though, hoping to find some “Early Times Whisky” (see here) style diamonds in the tobaccoey rough, I’ve also tried Read more

text-tastic

A few Cash-worthy texts of late;

“Think he is resident dj @ el chapultipec”

-Donnie, showing his concern about our Read more

cash power: the smile through

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; power is given or taken through one, and only one, mechanism.  Reaction.  How, or if, you react to every situation in your life will completely control your Read more

hot girls drive fast

I have an uncanny sense about some things.  One in particular seems to be growing more calibrated every day.  It’s my ability to determine how attractive a woman will be, whom I have yet to Read more

#9 temptation is commandment

If there’s one thing that robs human beings of more happiness than they can possibly imagine, it’s resisting temptation.

Surrendering to temptation offers instant gratification. Instant pleasure.  The banishment of boredom.

At what cost?

The potential for “guilt”.  Disgusting, outdated, positively worthless “guilt”.

Guilt is nothing more than glorified slavery.

Your master?  Whoever it is you’re trying to please.  Guilt is a function of someone else setting an expectation, a rule, that you’re supposed to live up to, to follow.  If you stray from their path?  You feel guilty.

Who’s the boss of you?  Your girlfriend?  Your pastor?  Your mom and dad?

If you’re a rational, independent person with a sense of self-worth?  The answer is simple:  “I am.”

Being your own boss has a lot of perks.  The first?  Doing as you please.  Surrendering to every temptation possible is very pleasing indeed.

I laugh outloud at myself, every few days at least, when considering a potential indulgence.  Much like the fabled angel and devil on a cartoon character’s shoulders, I have two discreet inner voices.

One I’ll call ‘true cash’.  This is the one that rolls balls at Beta, sometimes brings a cocktail into the shower, and believes himself an unstoppable force of nature in the world.

He is enjoyment personified.

His counterpart, I’ll call ‘cash defender’ is the conservative, cautious, thoughtful one who considers rammifications for my actions.  He’s boring as hell.  Probably a damn teetotaler for all I know.  See the thing is, I rarely see him anymore.

Years ago, these two ruled my decision making process very democratically.  Then?  A bloody revolution.  “True Cash” stormed the castle and took over.  Nowadays, “Cash Defender” has one purpose and one purpose only; to keep me alive.  His veto power extends solely to situations where a bad decision could result in my death.  Otherwise, he knows his place and shuts the hell up.

Still, there’s always a brief conversation between these two when I’m about to give in to temptation.

True Cash: We could totally do another line… should we?  should we!!!?

Cash Defender: I’m not gonna stop you.

True Cash: As if you possibly could.

Cash Defender: (silence)

And we’re on our way to pleasuretown.

Thanks guys.

next in this series: #8 for you to live, your reactions must die

the nine commandments of cash

One of the most profound things someone’s ever said to me was the following: “this year, I want to learn from you.”   The person who said it is a long time friend, knower, and very, very dear human being to me.

He wasn’t talking about card counting.  He wasn’t talking about writing.  He wasn’t talking about how to drink a 750ml of whisky over two days, by yourself, and feel just fine after.

I could offer sage wisdom on all these things.

This isn’t what he meant.  He wants to learn about how I live my life, and how I’ve come to enjoy the mindset that fuels it.

My current existence is.. amazing. I have no false humility about this.  Humility isn’t something that interests me.

My optimism, confidence and the delight I take in Read more

old enough for pleasure?

Growing up, I can remember overhearing several panic stricken conversations amongst adults that began with something along the lines of ‘He’s only Read more

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