2008 modern drunkard convention review

Leslie, dishy drunkard diva

This past weekend was the annual Modern Drunkard convention.  I was lucky enough to attend the closing ceremonies (well, pretty much all of the ceremonies happening Sunday).

A few thoughts on the experience:

1.  Pace yourself.

You think you’re fierce?  A real tuff guy drinker, ready to go liver to liver with the best of us?  Player, please.  I’m not known as the drunken sherpa for nothing, yet even I had one worry about the debauchery in store at the convention:  puking up all that alkeeholic goodness.

Each day’s worth of MDC fun lasts a respectable 12 hours or so.  I’m happy to say that even with a wide variety of spirits assaulting my stomach (think bloody marys, followed by pint after pint of assorted beer, interspersed with all manner of shots from whiskey to vodka) I never once heeded the call of the porcelain palace.  Slow and steady wins the race, not fast and gaggy.

2.  True drunkards are a gentle sort.

Unlike the frat-party-rejects-on-the-rampage idiocy of your typical night @ the Sports Column / Lodos / Public House, etc; the entire day of the convention seemed to retain a certain inebriated zen.  People in various states of severe intoxication mixed, mingled, and maintained an air of drunken camaraderie that didn’t once descend into fisticuffs.

3.  Family Guy Pinball is gawdamn good pinball

I’d say FGP falls right into third place for me behind only KISS and The Twilight Zone as the best pinball ever.  (See my thoughts on those two gems here) Where else can I hear Stewie insulting me for my every botched ball drop?  Oh you’re damn right it’s time for a sexy party.  Only thing missing?  More greased up deaf guy.

“It’s bringin’ me to my knees”

4.  Drunken, almost unconscious karaoke, is gawdamn good karaoke

There were (as I recall) three ‘events’ scheduled for Sunday.  The first was a cocktail napkin art contest (Bob, Leslie.. you were both ROBBED).  The next, some sort of seminar on-stage that I missed entirely in favor of getting harrasy with my party at our table & the sweet leather couch next door (see pic above.. meow!)

The third event of the night?  Karaoke, natch.  I can honestly say I outdid even my own past achievements in the Karaoke arts with my heartfelt rendition of Def Leppard’s “Love Bites”, with every poignant line acted out onstage for my rapt audience.

The M.C. perhaps summed up the experience best:

Well everyone, looks like Cash made quite a mess up here with his beer.  Lucky for you, he was nice enough to clean up most of it with his own pants”.

That’s right yall, you best recognize.  (My windmill break-dance antics during a later crooner’s take on “Ice Ice Baby” is another story entirely.)

5.  Congrats to Bob - Finishing 1/2 the Pint Gauntlet Challange, is still better than paying full price

There was an ongoing contest afoot open to all takers.  Consume 20 pints (basically doing a tap run of the 20 brews on offer) in 8 hours, and get them all free.  Make it half way through?  1/2 off.  Our own friend and drunken warrior Bob accepted the challenge and made it through 12 pints, earning a 50% discount on his beer tab.  Atta boy, now time for your real job.. Getting Loaded!

Thanks to all the fine folks @ MDM for hosting such a kick ass event.

See you all in 2009.